Needs and Their Role in Our Life

We've talked about embedded needs in our communication this week, at least this is the way I acknowledged it. Because according to this week's class, even though what we say may seem like what we desire is something else, when we go deeper and think thoroughly there are hidden needs in our sentences.

Giuseppe said "We need to develop the skills of translating feelings to needs" and I thought this was very interesting and if we could manage to do this properly we could avoid many conflicts and understand each other better. So I tried to utilize this knowledge in my daily interactions, also currently I'm doing an internship at a company and I was able to test this in work environment. The results were mixed for a reason, either it was my poor execution or there might be some gaps in the theory, maybe it's just that I need more practice :) Because most of the time I was able to tell the need in what people tell me, analyze how I can fulfill that need so that this person is satisfied and respond. But at some instances I couldn't tell what the underlying need was. As my interpretation; it can be because people sometimes talk more rationally and there's just no need being employed in forming that speech, so they are more straightforward and 'as is'. On the other hand, emotion dominated speeches tend to be loaded with needs.


Figure: Maslow's Pyramid of Needs

There's another thing which we mentioned in class and it's very important. Talking with facts rather than interpretation of facts. And if our interpretations also include generalizations too, this means we are communicating in a very wrong style. I observed bad consequences of this, mostly parents talk this way to their children "you are always doing ...., I don't want you to this!" and this leads to conflict between them. However if we talk in facts, the person at the other side of the conversation is more willing to accept his/her improper behavior and therefore be more willing to change his/her attitude.

To conclude: People do what works. Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others.

Thanks for reading my blog